Find out more about Countryfile Farming Hero Finalsit 2018 Chloe Williams, and how she set to creating this amazing support network…
The Crazy Life Of a Farmer’s Wife was born in August 2015 when I was flicking through a farming forum on Facebook and I came across a post from a young women. She wrote that she had found herself following a tractor as she was obsessed with the thought of marrying a farmer… Now as I am sure you can imagine, the post got A LOT of response. There were replies from farmers along the lines of “Come and join me in the cab” and “Come and sit on my combine” but there were also a lot of replies from farming wives, warning this girl that the life of a farmer’s wife isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. One wife told about how she had spent her birthday assisting a vet with a C-section on one of her cows, another remembered spending an anniversary moving electric fencing in a thunder storm.
I sat and I read each post and I laughed and I welled up, because I knew exactly where these women were coming from. Don’t get me wrong, there are so many pros to living on a farm but, I myself have missed special occasions due to the lifestyle that I chose. I too know how it feels to rarely see my husband when the sun is shining and there’s straw to bale, but above all of this I, at that very time, and on that very day had sat with my mum and my sister and cried, again, about how lonely I was.
You see, just 4 months before I had given birth to our first baby, Hugo. He was perfect but I couldn’t help but feel so lonely. Before we had children I was upset when Farmer Ben couldn’t come along to family events, I was frustrated when we couldn’t just get up and go off somewhere for the day or weekend without having to plan, plan, plan. We argued and fell out at times, but we made it work for us. However once Hugo was here I suddenly felt completely isolated. I went along to baby groups in town and I spoke to a few other Mums but I never really hit it off with anyone. I kept asking Farmer “Where are all the farmer’s wives around here? Surely there are women in this area feeling the same?”
So on this day in August, when I’d stumbled across this lady’s post and read all of the comments, I had a thought. I wondered if there was a Facebook group specifically designed for the wives and partners of farmers. A quick search revealed that no, in the UK there were not any groups for us.
I came up with the name and set to creating ‘The Crazy Life Of a Farmer’s Wife’. The vision being that if I felt like this then surely I am not alone, this group could give support to other lonely and isolated women, a place to share our stories, funny and sad, and maybe I’ll make some friends too! I had no idea what to expect but thought that if I got 50 members it would be remarkable.
We soon hit 50, and then 50 turned to 100. I was astonished, suddenly there were women from all over sharing their stories, asking for advice and having a much needed rant and before I knew it hundreds turned to thousands until here we are today… The grand total being over 4000 farmer’s wives and partners with on average 5 new requests to join every day!!
This group has become a huge lifeline to so many. Many of us can go weeks without seeing another person, other than our husband and children, and this group is the only form of communication for those people.
So please, use this forum, like I and so many others have, to make friends, to vent frustrations, to ask questions and to share the ups and the downs of this CRAZY LIFE!
I can’t wait to meet you ☺
Love Chloe x