Never a dull day on the farm…

Never a dull day on the farm…

We’ve all had them haven’t we!? Days that, if you tried to tell your ‘non-farmy’ friends about they just wouldn’t understand.

Here’s how just one day went for a fellow ‘Crazy’ lately…


So I thought this would be an interesting read for you all since my in laws are away for seven days! Sh*t always hits the fan when they go but hey ho we get on with it.

We live on a dairy beef and sheep farm. There is 700 acres of farmland split over four of our own farms some miles away. We don’t turn cows out, we have 300 of them. I have my own business to run on the farm, I’m a partner on the farm. I’ll introduce my kids as Boy child, Girl child and foster child (we do fostering too I’m being mean). I’ve always been around stock and know my large animals well. Sometimes I think I can read inside the animal’s head as a gift… it’s special. Spiders on the other hand no-no NO!

My life is so busy I can’t keep up and not sure how my heart holds everyone together but some how the farm life holds us all close.

Anyway… The day started with our collie eating a sock, great. Mother in law’s pride and joy potentially going to need a vet visit. She thought it was food and when the other collie walked by it the fear of losing out on this delicious sock was just all too much and she gobbled it down in milliseconds!

Next up staff breakfast; usually I’m not here at this time but since they’re away I’m filling in. My 3-year-old boy child announces he has an “itchy arse” in front of them all, asks when daddy’s hair on his “bullocks” is going to grow back and delightfully spills his milk across the farmers guardian. haha!

We have a great team here and thankfully all went down fairly well raising some light banter. The team is fairly young so most aren’t insured to drive much, so I get the jobs of running the chainsaw down to be serviced, taking the vollywasher to be fixed, all fine with me n kids because we get to drive the farm pickup – yay!

Next I hear I’ve won a local show competition so I have to visit the shop to pick the prize up. So when I’m off on my next chore to get the vet medicine I decide to nip in quickly. Being such a rush here and their Farm Day, my kids are dressed in their worst stained clothes, wellies complete with cow poo and some straw, grubby faces from dust/dirt, very happy I might add. I’m not too bad I’m in an old floaty dress which is black so still looks reasonable and flip-flops which where a quick grab on the way past the door. My feet are filthy from swapping out of wellies and into these. Omg! Anyway grab my prize and shoot off, dodged the friend who’s just moved here from LONDON and is lovely but just wouldn’t understand how we all look today! She’s a toes painted perfectly at all times kind of girl!

Rush to the vets, feeling pretty smitten with remembering all the names of the requested drugs – 2 bottles of combiclav and 2 bottles of Betamax and 1 loxcom! Felt like I knew what they were all for and everything!!

So then we head back to the car, kids point out a fire / black smoke in the distance. Start getting nearer to home and realise the fire is actually at our farm!! Cars slowing down to look down the driveway and everything! Oh my gawd! So I see my husband there with a huge hose all connected up longer than the normal one, to be able to reach behind the building, he’s wetting the grass near to it to stop it spreading  into the very dry fields. [pause for a second to appreciate how hot and sexy he looks holding a giant hose like a fireman 😍] I can see the sleeper is on fire which connects to the whole midden -I go dash off for the extinguisher to have it ready and look like Mrs Prepared! Can’t find it it’s moved. Run to cowmans close house, dogs escape out with excitement, manage somehow to get them back in. Got the extinguisher head back to car and one kids letting them all out to go look at the fire and see daddy! No no no push them all in the porch which has a window and a bench so I lock them in!  Go down to daddy and find out he started the fire! He was just burning bits! All the young staff smiling like oh he’s in for it now gah!

Milking time to start again hubby asks “do you want to milk or hose this fire down?” ehemm how about who’s looking after the kids?!?

Anyway I get the calf feeder lass to pen them up and I start milking with the new lass. Boss them through like a queen all well-behaved cows and hubs comes in and takes over, all sorted out there.

Grab kids and we go to brew up and tidy lunch away. Farmers are animals… there are no words for the state they left the kitchen in! You farmers wives know, I know you know what I mean!

Next up take kids out in pickup again. We’re off round the beefers to count them up. After the seatbelt arguments on entering the field (daddy lets them unstrap/ I don’t) first few pits I jump out nothing unusual, then this next was was something remarkable, two baby dear lift up their heads from grazing and dart off yards! I unstrap the kids show them and stand still to watch them. They start to wonder back. Turned out the mummy dear was stuck in the pit as she had gone in to drink some water. The pitiful amount that is left after all the sludge and dry weather.

I did want to go get my camera but she was very stressed by us all being there, I had to prioritize. She was so close I just put a piece of wood from the back of the pickup in underneath which soon sunk down then another and another and another until it lifted her far enough out that she could regain a stand up in the mud, she got to the side stood in the most special but freaky manner, looked straight at me n the kids, then darted off! For a second I thought she was gonna charge at us or something! She reunited with the baby dear and off they went into the woods. This was the best part of our day as Iv never believed hubby that he sees them!

Obviously super chuffed I didn’t have to ring hubby and I sorted it all by myself with 2 kids at foot! You Ladies will appreciate the delights of working with kids and when things actually work out ok!

We skipped the BBQ for tea idea I think we had all had enough stresses for one day! Had a lovely takeaway fish and chips, just what we needed and of course no washing up! Yay! Long hot baths for us all to soak the layers of grub smoke and farm dirt off! What a day!

Hope you have enjoyed hearing about our adventurous day today!

Xxxxx crazy love xxxxX

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