Please don’t pee in the school yard…

Please don’t pee in the school yard…

I thought I’d blog about rearing our feral farm earthlings as a lot of us are mothers.

It’s clear that “farm kids” are a certain bunch and have very different ways to the normal kids.  I personally feel that farm kids have a fabulous upbringing and as I wasn’t a farm kid feel in total love and little bit jealous of their life’s!
As a farming momma to 3 children Billy 8, dolly 5 and Peggy – pearl 9 months I’m under no illusion that their pretty much dragged up rather than brought up! They share their momma with 4567865 other roles, I’m forever busy, homework; well is never done, I’m often wrestling a sheep whilst stopping a huge sibling scrap,  school starts when we get there and finishes… when I get there. I’ve turned up to collect them with a boot full of goat kids and I’ve dropped them off with a cattle trailer loaded.
I turn up to the football game stinking of goodness knows what with dirty clothes and straw in my hair; but I’m the loudest ( most supportive mum)
Kids presents are now livestock and poultry , try wrapping up a ferret haha! Pocket money is well earned and chores arnt the average wash the dishes more help fluke the cows!
As farm mommas we work every hour of the day , we never stop moving.  We do everything we can to give our kiddos the best life we can. Sometimes its so hard and never seems to end , we live for the moments where we can catch a breath.
I’ve thought long and hard what attributes a farm kiddo has that most of the normal kids don’t!
Compassion – they learn compassion from such an early age, caring for those sick animals, helping those little orphans and seeing us busting a gut to ensure the stock is fed, bedded up and safe in all weather’s.
Work ethic – goes without saying. Farmers are the most hardworking. Farming and stock come first.  It sometimes feels “why are we doing this ” – but it soon passes to see those crops cut, lambs skipping and the new heifers for the dairy herd.
Life skills – invaluable life skills of working with what you’ve got, testing your knowledge, fitness and sanity. Not mentioning the bloody things you can fix with bailer twine.
Food produce – c’mon our kids know exactly what that sausage is, where the lamb roast came from and how that milk has come about.  To me this is one of the most satisfying things as a farming momma. I love that my kids know this stuff…. dolly was learning the letter T in school (she’s in reception ) she proudly chose turkey as her word. She then went on to say we have turkeys and we kill them, pluck them and sell them for Christmas dinners. To the horror of the other kids , Sadie cried and Emily is now protesting never to eat  turkey again! Billy sent his sausages back to the school cook “coz they weren’t mums”. Needless to say I’m proud and the teacher, Sadie,  Emily and the school cook hate us ha!
Toilet training – we’ve all done it! “Pee in the bush but watch for the nettles “. I don’t think we did potty training. We didn’t have a sticker chart , a potty or mad routine which involves shoving the kid on the toilet every 5 minutes in despair for a peeing kid. We simply let them pee everywhere.  I must say though as a word of advise; run it past the kid before they start school not to pee in the school yard!!!!
Germ free – our kids are filthy mucky and well mine never wash their hands!  They scoff food whilst pigs scavenge. Baby Peggy even lost her apple to a cheeky a goat. But do they ever get ill or even a bloody cold! They never wear a coat, I’m not sure why I still attempt buying such garments. A coat is like a swear word. We have a porch full of the God damn things that we fight passed every day to get in and out of the house. But nobody wears them.
Swearing – dare I say it! Or should I call it colourful English language! ? We’ve all been there when swear words just fly out of our mouths. It’s like a huge brain fart. You silly woffle just dosnt cut it when the tup flings itself at you.
Relationships – they learn In the womb. Farm mommas and their farmer (often known as daddy but sometimes other words can be used to describe ), we’ve a funny old relationship. Farm mommas often have to use their psychic powers in order to work out what farmer wants. We love and support each other through hard times, financial crisis and of course finding their socks
Money – farm kids “just get it” , money isn’t everything. We sometimes have it or we don’t.  Sometimes it’s bad sometimes it’s good. We feed animals often before a lavish food shop , we don’t do holidays and very often go on days out. But we have each other and that in itself out ways any amount of money.
Reproduction – everything is always shagging  (apart from me n the farmer!) Humping , tupping, mating , bulling , you name it, the farm yard is always at it. The farm kids just accept it. They know where lambs come out of and they know teats produce milk,  they know a raddle mark is a good thing! Billy was playing football in the field and shouted “mum Keith has his kn#b out”, I quickly looked around in hope that no walkers was knocking around… Keith is our tup but to the unknown my kids just shouted Keith who sounds like a flasher has his tackle out!
Running riot – we let our kids roam the farm, feel straw in their tiny hands, smell the cut grass, ride the tractors , make dens from all the (dangerous ) crap we have lying about, letting them use their own imagination to play and enjoy life! Some posh parents call this type of play sensory , forrest school or “free range “, I call it wild as fuck!
I conclude with ; our kids may see the back of us for most of  the day, we sometimes feel mum guilt for not doing the “normal things”, but taking a step back and reflecting our kids are living a life of love,  chaos and experience ‘s. We our queening at life and the glue that holds our farming family together. Our kids know our kitchens always open, the fire is always roaring and a momma hug is always knocking about!
Give your little (or grown up) farm kids an extra squeeze – for without you they wouldn’t be who they are now!!
** I dedicate this to all your farming mommas who have farming kiddies with you,  for those who have lost and finally for those who have yet to have them .
Much love
Georgie x
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