01 Jan Seeing in the New Year
Well what a shite start to 2020 (HNY by the way!) that was.
I’m clearly too old to even make it to midnight, I fell asleep with just 20 minutes to go, leaving poor Farmer Ben to see the new decade in by himself.
It wasn’t poor Ben for long though because at 3am he woke me up with his ‘I’ve got manflu’ blocked nose breathing which is a sound like no other – if you were to breed a cow with a pig and it was calling for its baby? Yea, that’s definitely how I’d explain it!
Then as I’m finally getting back to sleep at 5ish (after much huffing, accidental kicking and wriggling) precious Teddy (saying that through tightly gritted teeth) comes in, climbs over me whilst being sure to stand on my hair, my nose and my boob. He gets in eventually but then sticks to me like a snail on my back, which is totally cute but absolutely not practical. He does this thing where he doesnt keep his feet still for one damn second, scratching you with his toenails and poking you in the butt!
At 5:20 I kick Farmer Ben out and into the spare room before I seriously kill him.
As I’m getting comfy again I see flashes of lights outside and automatically jump to ‘there’s a crazy theiving murderer outside and hes going to kill us all before stealing the quad bike’ I scream to Ben who comes back in, I force him to look everywhere before we realise it was the light from his phone as he moved into the spare room! Phew!
6am soon comes around, Teddy hasn’t kept still yet. He sits bolt up right and demands the telly on! I lie and tell him it’s the middle of the night and to go back to sleep. It works, for 10 minutes! So the TV goes on. Then starts the drunken singing… And no, unfortunately not by me! Teddy. He breaks into song every now and then, literally like a drunken fool in the early hours of a Sunday morning! So everytime I’m just drifting off out comes another verse of Twirlywoos!
Then of course Hugo comes in and joins the madness. They both start wrestling over the top of me, bouncing on my pillow and now there are two drunken singers, so I gave up and have spent the morning sulking in the chair.
Happy 2020…my mood can only get better, right?