Back in 2015 I was in a low place. Looking back now I know that was because I was suffering with a bit of post natal depression after having Hugo (baby number one).
It was about three months after we’d had him, I was really feeling the pressures of ‘mum guilt’. If you are a mum then you’ll most likely totally identify with what i’m saying – In fact 89% of women know exactly what i’m talking about! I still experience mum guilt on a daily basis but back then I can remember this sudden overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Up until the day before I had Hugo I was working as a Healthcare Assistant and so I had my own thing going on. I was still working back in my home town (about an hour away) and doing a lot of agency work so was travelling a lot. It wasn’t until I was sent home with this tiny new bundle and time went on a bit and mum went home and Farmer Ben went back to work properly that I was like “Oh shit. This is me now. And I am totally alone out here!”
It dawned on me that I had been so busy before having Hugo that I hadn’t made any friends in my local area. So of course how did I deal with this? I went along to the baby groups in town – where I didn’t really hit it off with anyone. This only got me more down. I’d come home after dragging my arse to these groups because “its the right thing to do when you have a baby” and “It’s the only place to make new friends” and I’d cry and cry and cry.
I wondered if i wasn’t making friends in town because we were just two worlds apart. I wondered if I might make friends easier with girls more like me… Tom boys. Country gals. Farm wives… And so, The Crazy Life of a Farmer’s Wife was born…
It Started With a Facebook Group…
In August 2015, with a nudge from my mum and sister i created a Facebook Group. The intention being to bring farm wives together from all over the UK to make friends, and maybe i’d make a few myself.
Well, what happened I could never have prepared for… It blew up and before i knew it we had over six thousand members! The group had turned from just another facebook group to a real community of women supporting one another and sharing their lives with all the ups and the downs along the way.
Together we raised money for farming charities, we helped each other out of dark times, we shared problems and gave advice.
I organised local meet ups for fellow farm wives and gave others the nudge to do the same. Beautiful friendships blossomed and people were genuinely helped.
There were pub meals, coffee mornings, and even ‘Crazy Farm Kid’ playdates!
I took TCLOAFW on the road too, visting a few local agriculteral shows and spreading the farm wife word whilst meeting some amazing people and in 2018 I even organised the very first national party for the members of the community. It was an incredible night (You can read about that night here). Honestly, I could sit here all night and tell you about all the awesome things that the community did, and all the people that it helped. It was an exciting time and it meant a great deal to me.
Then the sad bit…
Unfortunately Facebook groups have a bit of a knack for going sour and four years down the line (for me) it had lost what I had originally set out to do, so with a heavy heart I decided (after much deliberation) to pull away from the Facebook group.
Time for Change!
So, I have taken a bit of time out but I really missed my girls.
I’ve really missed helping people, but most of all I’ve missed connecting people and helping to create new friendships.
I’ve also missed helping to diminish rural loneliness and isolation and really cant explain the feeling it gives me to know that I have helped other women. Other Chloe’s who are feeling down and out and thinking that they are the only ones feeling this way.
So, I’ve been thinking of ways in which I can continue helping those women without the negativity that is (most) Facebook groups, and I’ve come up with this…
I plan to continue helping to connect ladies who are suffering from rural isolation and loneliness, but also ladies who just want to meet more people in their area.
If you would be interested in making friends near you then please fill out this form, making sure that you include your county and area. I can then put you in touch with other ladies who are local to you, and once there are enough from one area I will go on to plan local meet ups for you too!
*Please note that by filling out this contact form you are agreeing for me to hold your location and contact information for the purposes of connecting you to ladies in your local area. Information WILL NOT be passed onto third parties.
“I want to thank Chloe from the bottom of my heart for creating such a lifeline for myself and so many”
“It’s very comforting to know there are other ladies in the same boat as me. Who feel a bit lonely from time to time. You’ve brought us all together and for that I’ll be forever grateful!”
“I thought I was alone in feeling this way, until I found TCLOAFW”
“I have made a best friend for life from going along to one of the meet ups. She lives just up the road from me and I never knew she existed!”